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A stranger took the airplane seat I had paid extra to reserve, then laughed when I politely asked her to move.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cLady, stop acting like a victim. You\u2019re the one who decided to get on a plane with a newborn and a little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n She said it loudly enough that several passengers near Row 11 turned around.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a moment, I stood in the aisle with my six-week-old son pressed against my chest and honestly wondered whether sleep deprivation had finally caught up with me.<\/p>\n Maybe I had read my boarding passes incorrectly.<\/p>\n Maybe I had somehow dragged two children, a diaper bag, a stroller, and three hours of sleep through Seattle-Tacoma International Airport only to make the most basic mistake imaginable.<\/p>\n So I checked again.<\/p>\n 11A and 11B.<\/p>\n Exactly the seats I had paid extra to reserve.<\/p>\n My daughter Emma stood beside me, gripping the straps of her lavender backpack.<\/p>\n She was ten, old enough to recognize when an adult was being intentionally rude but still young enough to look at me afterward to see how she was supposed to react.<\/p>\n My son Noah slept through everything.<\/p>\n He was tucked against me in a soft gray-blue carrier my mother had bought while I was still pregnant.<\/p>\n She died only a few months before Noah was born.<\/p>\n When she ordered the carrier, she told me:<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll understand why you need this once the baby gets here. You\u2019re going to want both hands.\u201d<\/p>\n She had been right.<\/p>\n That morning, I needed both hands, another pair of hands, and probably a completely different nervous system.<\/p>\n It was my first flight alone with both children.<\/p>\n My husband, Mark, was working several states away on a long construction project, and my sister Emily had practically ordered me to come stay with her in Phoenix for a few weeks.<\/p>\n During our last phone call, she said:<\/p>\n \u201cYou sound like you\u2019re falling asleep while you\u2019re talking.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have a newborn.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou have a newborn and no help. Those are two different problems.\u201d<\/p>\n She had a spare bedroom.<\/p>\n She could hold Noah while I showered.<\/p>\n She could take Emma swimming.<\/p>\n She could make dinner before I suddenly realized at seven-thirty that I had forgotten to thaw anything.<\/p>\n So I bought the tickets.<\/p>\n And because I knew exactly how chaotic traveling with a baby could become, I planned everything carefully.<\/p>\n I chose an early flight.<\/p>\n I arrived at the airport ridiculously early in case Noah had a diaper emergency.<\/p>\n I packed extra formula even though I was breastfeeding.<\/p>\n I brought snacks Emma actually liked instead of the fruit slices I usually packed and pretended she would eat.<\/p>\n Most importantly, I paid extra for two seats together with additional legroom.<\/p>\n One for Emma.<\/p>\n One for me, with Noah on my lap.<\/p>\n Row 11.<\/p>\n I had checked those seat numbers so many times that I practically saw them when I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n Yet when we boarded, a woman was already sitting in 11A as though the airline had personally deeded the seat to her.<\/p>\n She looked to be in her early fifties.<\/p>\n Expensive sunglasses rested on top of carefully styled blonde hair.<\/p>\n A beige coat was draped across part of the seat.<\/p>\n A large leather tote occupied nearly as much aisle space as some carry-on bags.<\/p>\n She had also removed her shoes.<\/p>\n One bare foot rested against the wall beside the window.<\/p>\n \u201cExcuse me,\u201d I said the first time, before anything became hostile. \u201cI think those are our seats.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked at me.<\/p>\n Then at Noah.<\/p>\n Then at Emma.<\/p>\n I could practically watch her decide that none of us mattered.<\/p>\n She pulled her headphones over her ears.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m already settled.\u201d<\/p>\n For a second, I thought I had misunderstood her.<\/p>\n Surely nobody would openly refuse to leave another passenger\u2019s assigned seat.<\/p>\n I held out my boarding pass.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have 11A and 11B.\u201d<\/p>\n She pulled one side of the headphones away.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s always the same with mothers,\u201d she said. \u201cYou bring children somewhere and suddenly expect everyone else to inconvenience themselves for you.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at her.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not asking you to inconvenience yourself. I\u2019m asking you to leave the seat I paid for.\u201d<\/p>\n Her expression changed.<\/p>\n Not exactly angry.<\/p>\n Offended.<\/p>\n As though the real problem wasn\u2019t that she had taken my seat but that I had made her acknowledge it.<\/p>\n Passengers were beginning to pile up behind us.<\/p>\n Noah shifted against my chest.<\/p>\n Emma looked down.<\/p>\n Then a flight attendant approached.<\/p>\n She was probably in her thirties, with her hair pinned neatly back and the strained look of someone whose shift had already become difficult.<\/p>\n She checked my boarding passes.<\/p>\n Then the woman\u2019s.<\/p>\n Then mine again.<\/p>\n \u201cIt appears we have a seating conflict,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Maybe that was true.<\/p>\n Maybe she was simply offering the other woman a graceful way out.<\/p>\n Either way, the attendant turned toward me.<\/p>\n \u201cThere is an available seat three rows back. If you could take that one, we could finish boarding.\u201d<\/p>\n I waited for the rest of the sentence.<\/p>\n It never came.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want me to move?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt would help us get everyone seated.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked at Emma.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want me to sit three rows away from my ten-year-old daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe can keep an eye on her.\u201d<\/p>\n I must have looked stunned, because the attendant quickly added:<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a relatively short flight.\u201d<\/p>\n That was when the woman laughed.<\/p>\n Only a little.<\/p>\n But enough.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not moving,\u201d she said. \u201cI got here first.\u201d<\/p>\n Then she looked at Emma.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s old enough. Sitting away from Mommy for a few hours isn\u2019t going to hurt her.\u201d<\/p>\n Heat rose through my chest.<\/p>\n Behind us, someone sighed impatiently.<\/p>\n Another passenger muttered something about missing the departure slot.<\/p>\n And suddenly I understood what was happening.<\/p>\n Everyone knew which person was creating the problem.<\/p>\n But I was easier to pressure.<\/p>\n I had a newborn strapped to me.<\/p>\n I had a child beside me.<\/p>\n I was trying desperately not to inconvenience anyone.<\/p>\n The woman in my seat had already made it clear that she was willing to become difficult.<\/p>\n So naturally, everyone wanted the cooperative person to cooperate even more.<\/p>\n That happens far beyond airplanes.<\/p>\n The reasonable person is often asked to surrender because nobody wants to confront the unreasonable one.<\/p>\n I turned toward the flight attendant.<\/p>\n I was about to say no.<\/p>\n Then Emma touched my arm.<\/p>\n \u201cMom.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked at her.<\/p>\n Her voice dropped.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n At first, I thought she was embarrassed.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d she whispered. \u201cI can sit here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally. I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n There was something unusual in her expression.<\/p>\n Emma wasn\u2019t confrontational.<\/p>\n At home, she could negotiate bedtime like a trial lawyer, but with strangers she was quiet, observant, and almost painfully polite.<\/p>\n Mark and I had always tried to teach her that being polite did not mean allowing people to treat her badly.<\/p>\n But she wasn\u2019t shrinking now.<\/p>\n She was watching something.<\/p>\n The woman rearranged her coat with a small, satisfied movement.<\/p>\n The attendant gave me an apologetic glance.<\/p>\n I hated the entire situation.<\/p>\n But Noah was waking up.<\/p>\n The aisle was blocked.<\/p>\n And Emma was asking me to trust her.<\/p>\n So I did.<\/p>\n I helped her sit in 11B.<\/p>\n \u201cStay here unless you need something. If you\u2019re uncomfortable, call the flight attendant. I\u2019m only three rows behind you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n I crouched as much as Noah\u2019s carrier allowed and helped slide Emma\u2019s backpack beneath the seat in front of her.<\/p>\n She leaned down to push it farther underneath.<\/p>\n Then she stopped.<\/p>\n Her forehead creased.<\/p>\n She was staring at something near the other woman\u2019s leg, wedged between the seat frame and the wall.<\/p>\n \u201cExcuse me, ma\u2019am,\u201d Emma said.<\/p>\n The woman ignored her.<\/p>\n \u201cI think you have\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cListen, kid.\u201d<\/p>\n The woman turned toward her.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t start.\u201d<\/p>\n Emma closed her mouth.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t see what she had noticed.<\/p>\n I assumed the woman\u2019s coat was blocking Emma\u2019s seat belt or her oversized tote had spilled into Emma\u2019s space.<\/p>\n I kissed my daughter\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m right behind you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n Then I moved to Row 14.<\/p>\n Naturally, the available seat was in the middle.<\/p>\n An older man sat on one side, already arranging himself to sleep through the flight.<\/p>\n A younger man with headphones sat on the other.<\/p>\n When he saw the diaper bag hanging from my shoulder, he immediately reached down.<\/p>\n \u201cWant me to put that underneath for you?\u201d<\/p>\n Such a tiny kindness nearly made me cry.<\/p>\n \u201cYes. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n He tucked it under the seat.<\/p>\n I sat down, adjusted Noah\u2019s carrier, fastened my belt, and looked toward Row 11.<\/p>\n I could see the top of Emma\u2019s head.<\/p>\n She turned around.<\/p>\n Our eyes met.<\/p>\n She smiled faintly.<\/p>\n I smiled back.<\/p>\n But I knew my daughter.<\/p>\n Something was bothering her.<\/p>\n The aircraft door closed.<\/p>\n The safety demonstration began.<\/p>\n We pushed away from the gate.<\/p>\n As the plane accelerated down the runway, I placed one hand against Noah\u2019s back.<\/p>\n He twitched in his sleep.<\/p>\n Seattle dropped away beneath us.<\/p>\n For the first few minutes, I concentrated on breathing.<\/p>\n There is a strange helplessness in being only three rows from your child and still feeling too far away.<\/p>\n Emma was capable of sitting alone.<\/p>\n That wasn\u2019t the point.<\/p>\n She shouldn\u2019t have had to.<\/p>\n I had paid extra specifically to avoid this exact situation.<\/p>\n Now I could only see pieces of her between the headrests.<\/p>\n The older man beside me began snoring.<\/p>\n The younger passenger turned his music up.<\/p>\n Noah slept with his tiny fists tucked beneath his chin.<\/p>\n I kept watching Row 11.<\/p>\n Emma sat perfectly straight.<\/p>\n I knew that posture.<\/p>\n It was how she sat at the doctor\u2019s office when she didn\u2019t want anyone to know she was nervous.<\/p>\n It was how she had sat at my mother\u2019s funeral because she thought that if she cried, I would cry harder.<\/p>\n Sometimes adults looked at ten-year-olds and simply saw children.<\/p>\n I looked at Emma and sometimes saw a little girl working far too hard to make herself easy for everyone else.<\/p>\n The woman beside her stretched out again.<\/p>\n Her bare foot extended into the extra legroom I had specifically paid for Emma.<\/p>\n Then Emma leaned down.<\/p>\n She looked toward the floor.<\/p>\n Then toward the woman.<\/p>\n She said something I couldn\u2019t hear.<\/p>\n The woman pulled one headphone away and snapped at her.<\/p>\n Emma sat upright again.<\/p>\n That was enough.<\/p>\n I reached for my seat belt.<\/p>\n At almost the same moment, the seat belt sign switched off.<\/p>\n Passengers began standing.<\/p>\n Overhead bins opened.<\/p>\n Someone headed toward the restroom.<\/p>\n A flight attendant prepared the beverage cart.<\/p>\n Then Emma stood.<\/p>\n Her voice somehow carried over the engine noise.<\/p>\n \u201cMa\u2019am, my mom taught me not to embarrass people in front of strangers.\u201d<\/p>\n Several heads turned.<\/p>\n The woman slowly removed her headphones.<\/p>\n Emma continued.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s why I tried to tell you quietly before we took off.\u201d<\/p>\n The woman\u2019s face hardened.<\/p>\n \u201cThen keep quiet now.\u201d<\/p>\n A nearby passenger lowered her tablet.<\/p>\n I unbuckled my seat belt.<\/p>\n Noah stirred.<\/p>\n The flight attendant noticed and started toward Row 11.<\/p>\n But Emma was already opening her backpack.<\/p>\n She reached inside and pulled out a clear pencil pouch.<\/p>\n Except there weren\u2019t pencils inside.<\/p>\n There was a wallet.<\/p>\n A thick brown leather wallet.<\/p>\n Emma held it carefully in both hands.<\/p>\n \u201cIs this yours?\u201d<\/p>\n The woman\u2019s face changed instantly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was stuck between your leg and the seat frame when I sat down,\u201d Emma explained. \u201cI saw it while I was putting my backpack underneath.\u201d<\/p>\n The woman reached for it.<\/p>\n Emma handed it over.<\/p>\n \u201cI tried to tell you twice,\u201d she added. \u201cBut you told me not to bother you.\u201d<\/p>\n The woman opened the wallet immediately.<\/p>\n Credit cards.<\/p>\n Driver\u2019s license.<\/p>\n A thick stack of cash.<\/p>\n Then she saw a folded white envelope.<\/p>\n Her expression shifted from embarrassment to fear.<\/p>\n Her hands began trembling.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n Emma simply sat down.<\/p>\n No triumphant smile.<\/p>\n No insult.<\/p>\n No attempt to humiliate her.<\/p>\n She had been given the perfect opportunity to embarrass someone who had treated both of us terribly.<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t take it.<\/p>\n She simply returned something that wasn\u2019t hers.<\/p>\n For several minutes, the cabin seemed quieter.<\/p>\n Emma opened her book.<\/p>\n The woman held the wallet against her chest.<\/p>\n Then the flight attendant walked toward me.<\/p>\n \u201cMa\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe passenger in Row 11 has agreed to move back here so you can return to your original seat.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at her.<\/p>\n \u201cNow she has?\u201d<\/p>\n The attendant looked uncomfortable.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n She hesitated.<\/p>\n \u201cShe would also like to apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n I adjusted Noah.<\/p>\n \u201cMy daughter needs to sit next to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n Emma came toward me first.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you okay?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWere you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n She thought about it.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n Then she corrected herself.<\/p>\n \u201cI was angry. But I wasn\u2019t scared.\u201d<\/p>\n That answer hurt more than I expected.<\/p>\n My ten-year-old had already learned that adults sometimes put children in situations where they have to carefully sort through their emotions just to manage them.<\/p>\n I pulled her against me.<\/p>\n For several seconds, she rested her head against my shoulder.<\/p>\n That was the Emma I needed.<\/p>\n My little girl.<\/p>\n Not the strangely composed child who had stood in an airplane aisle holding a stranger\u2019s wallet.<\/p>\n The woman gathered her coat, shoes, tote, and wallet.<\/p>\n As she passed Emma, she stopped.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Emma looked up.<\/p>\n \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have spoken to you like that. Or your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n Emma waited.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd thank you for giving me my wallet.\u201d<\/p>\n My daughter answered simply:<\/p>\n \u201cMy mom says you return things that don\u2019t belong to you, even when someone is mean.\u201d<\/p>\n The woman closed her eyes briefly.<\/p>\n \u201cYour mom is right.\u201d<\/p>\n Then she moved to Row 14.<\/p>\n Exactly where the airline had tried to send me.<\/p>\n Once Emma and I were back together, I finally felt my shoulders relax.<\/p>\n I took 11A.<\/p>\n Emma took 11B.<\/p>\n Noah rested against my chest between us.<\/p>\n For a while, everything returned to normal.<\/p>\n Drinks were served.<\/p>\n Someone laughed nearby.<\/p>\n Emma read.<\/p>\n Every few minutes, she reached over to touch Noah\u2019s tiny foot.<\/p>\n Honestly, I would have been perfectly happy if the story had ended there.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t need revenge.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t need applause.<\/p>\n I wanted my children beside me and a quiet flight.<\/p>\n But about twenty minutes later, the woman leaned into the aisle behind us.<\/p>\n \u201cExcuse me.\u201d<\/p>\n I turned.<\/p>\n \u201cMy name is Diane.\u201d<\/p>\n I hesitated.<\/p>\n \u201cRachel.\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded.<\/p>\n The brittle arrogance from boarding was gone.<\/p>\n \u201cI was in Seattle signing legal documents,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n I waited.<\/p>\n \u201cMy sister is very sick.\u201d<\/p>\n Her voice caught.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s in Phoenix.\u201d<\/p>\n Diane looked down at the wallet.<\/p>\n \u201cThose papers in the envelope are medical power-of-attorney documents. There are cashier\u2019s checks in there too, for part of her treatment.\u201d<\/p>\n That explained the terror on her face when she opened the wallet.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I had lost it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n She stopped.<\/p>\n I let the sentence remain unfinished.<\/p>\n For the first time, I could see part of her day from her perspective.<\/p>\n Not her behavior.<\/p>\n Her fear.<\/p>\n A dying or seriously ill sister.<\/p>\n Hospital paperwork.<\/p>\n Money.<\/p>\n Travel.<\/p>\n The desperate need to control something when almost everything felt uncontrollable.<\/p>\n I understood that feeling.<\/p>\n My mother had been sick before she died.<\/p>\n Hospitals could reduce your entire existence to forms, medication schedules, waiting rooms, and frightening phone calls.<\/p>\n But understanding someone\u2019s pain doesn\u2019t erase what they do with it.<\/p>\n Diane seemed to understand that too.<\/p>\n \u201cNone of that excuses how I behaved,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t soften the answer.<\/p>\n She looked at me.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d I repeated. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n Diane nodded.<\/p>\n Then she looked toward Emma.<\/p>\n \u201cMy sister has a daughter around her age.\u201d<\/p>\n Emma kept reading.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen your daughter stood up with my wallet, I thought about my niece.\u201d<\/p>\n Diane swallowed.<\/p>\n \u201cI imagined someone speaking to her the way I spoke to Emma.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked down.<\/p>\n \u201cI hated it.\u201d<\/p>\n I said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I saw the envelope,\u201d she continued, \u201cI realized the only reason I hadn\u2019t lost everything important in that wallet was because the same child I told to be quiet had protected it.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked at Emma again.<\/p>\n \u201cI acted terribly.\u201d<\/p>\n There are apologies that are really demands for comfort.<\/p>\n Please tell me I\u2019m not actually a bad person.<\/p>\n Please tell me anyone would have behaved that way.<\/p>\n Please erase my guilt.<\/p>\n Diane didn\u2019t ask me for any of that.<\/p>\n So I didn\u2019t give it.<\/p>\n \u201cEmma didn\u2019t return your wallet to teach you a lesson,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe returned it because that\u2019s who she is.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd that matters.\u201d<\/p>\n Diane nodded.<\/p>\n I looked down at Noah.<\/p>\n He was sleeping again.<\/p>\n \u201cMy mother always said kindness doesn\u2019t mean allowing people to mistreat you.\u201d<\/p>\n Diane listened.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m trying to teach Emma the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked toward my daughter.<\/p>\n \u201cPeople sometimes confuse patience with permission.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPermission?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPermission to push you. Take your seat. Talk over you. Expect you to accept everything because you don\u2019t want everyone else to feel uncomfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n Diane lowered her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cI should\u2019ve moved the first time you asked.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n After a moment, she added:<\/p>\n \u201cThe flight attendant shouldn\u2019t have asked you to move either.\u201d<\/p>\n The same flight attendant happened to be passing us with a water pitcher.<\/p>\n She heard.<\/p>\n She stopped.<\/p>\n Diane looked at her.<\/p>\n \u201cI created the problem. But you made Rachel solve it.\u201d<\/p>\n The attendant\u2019s face flushed.<\/p>\n She looked at me.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s right. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Earlier, I had been furious with her.<\/p>\n Now I saw someone who had chosen the fastest solution instead of the right one because she wanted the boarding process to keep moving.<\/p>\n I understood why.<\/p>\n It was still wrong.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you were trying to get everyone seated,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cI was.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut my daughter paid the price because nobody wanted to confront someone difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n The attendant nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n There was no dramatic applause.<\/p>\n No shouting.<\/p>\n No viral speech.<\/p>\n Just three women thirty thousand feet above the ground admitting uncomfortable truths.<\/p>\n Diane had been cruel.<\/p>\n The flight attendant had chosen convenience.<\/p>\n And I had nearly allowed myself to surrender something I knew was rightfully mine because everyone around me was making me feel responsible for the delay.<\/p>\n Emma, the youngest person involved, had somehow managed to stand her ground without becoming cruel.<\/p>\n That stayed with me.<\/p>\n Later, as the plane began descending toward Phoenix, Noah woke and started fussing.<\/p>\n Emma immediately reached into the diaper bag.<\/p>\n She handed me his pacifier.<\/p>\n Then the burp cloth.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re hired,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n \u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFull-time baby assistant.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow much?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTerrible pay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen I quit.\u201d<\/p>\n I laughed.<\/p>\n For the first time that day, everything felt normal.<\/p>\n The plane landed hard enough to make several passengers gasp.<\/p>\n Noah began crying.<\/p>\n Emma placed one hand against his foot.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Noah. We\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n Once the seat belt sign went off, everyone stood at once.<\/p>\n Overhead bins opened.<\/p>\n People crowded the aisle.<\/p>\n Emma grabbed the diaper bag.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got it.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n